Finishing Well: How caregivers can remain healthy

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

It is possible to get burned out, bitter, disgruntled, upset, agitated, angry, or exhausted when you are one of the primary caregivers for a loved one whether it is a friend or relative. The Bible encourages us to not become weary in doing good. I believe that that verse is in the Bible because it is definitely possible to grow weary when you are doing good.

In order to fulfill this command to not become weary there are a few things that caregivers can do in order to maintain healthy boundaries.

If all of us waited to help others until we were perfect and had everything figured out then no one would help others during their time on earth. We need to recognize that we can do our best but that our best will probably not always meet other’s expectations.

In order to give ourselves to the ministry of helping others we need to position ourselves before the Lord first. When I worked as a counselor in a public school I put my face on the floor of my office every morning and said, “I can’t do this without You Lord.” While I definitely had my share of problems over the years I could sense the presence of the Lord sustaining me through the tough times.

There will be some tough times when you provide care for others. You might not feel like getting out of bed at midnight and driving across town to assist a loved one, but you do it. You might not feel like taking the responsibility for your relative’s health care, finances, housing, transportation, nutrition, and safety but all of these issues can be part of caring for people who are aging or who have medical issues.

Some things that I do in order to help take care of myself include attempting to get six or seven hours of sleep a night, exercising daily and spending time with the Lord through Bible reading and prayer. Your routine will be different than mine but try to establish a regular routine so that when extra demanding days occur you have the resources to handle the additional stress.

Keeping our own lives organized can allow those of us who act as caregivers the ability to more fully concentrate on our loved ones’ needs and situations. Such mundane things as cleaning the house or car, balancing the checkbook, paying bills, returning phone calls, and responding to emails take time but they are necessary duties so that we don’t fall behind in our personal responsibilities.

Attempt to eliminate major stressors in life if possible. Some things are definitely not in our control. Try to take care of the issues that you can deal with sooner rather than later. I have found that something almost always comes up or situations turn out differently than we had imagined.

In general I would advise caregivers to run towards their problems rather than away from them. Dealing with our own issues frees us to concentrate on the problems our friends or relatives may be experiencing.

I would encourage all who serve as caregivers to develop a hobby that can help rejuvenate the spirit, soul (mind, will, and emotions), and body.

Remember the song “He’s got the Whole World In His Hands.” You and I are not God and we will never be Him. Our job is to serve faithfully where He has placed us through the power of the Holy Spirit.

May God bless you big.

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This is second in a series of columns by Kevin Barsotti of Ark Church looking at issues of aging in the light of the teachings of the church.