This is in response to Melinda Pozega’s letter. Many of you know me personally and, if not, at least know of my brother Ryan. On April 13, 2001, my brother and I were in a horrible car wreck. A big thanks to Matt Springer for reacting the way that he did, because if he hadn’t, Ryan would probably not be here.
Like Cassi, I also have gone through the feelings of, "Why Ryan? Why not me? Why am I OK? Why didn’t I get hurt as bad?" I received the same answers from family and friends that Cassi did. No one could give me the answers that I was looking for. No one could take the guilt away that I felt — that I should have never switched seats with my brother and let him drive. I will never forget that day and sometimes still have nightmares about that day.
Everyone goes through life-changing experiences and everyone is never the same in the aftermath, but it is what you do with those experiences that matters. So my advice to Cassi is this: I am sorry, but you will never have the answers that you are looking for. If you are still having a hard time with this a year later, then I would advise that you look for someone to talk to or get some medication to help you move forward. I am truly sorry for the life that was lost, but you still have yours and you need to move forward and do something with your life instead of living in the past. Anything less would be failing to honor your friend's memory.
Enjoy the fact that you get to smell the rain, dance and love. I am not saying that you will not think of this daily, because I think of it all the time and still have guilt, but I am sure that no one wants to see you waste your life away in this guilt. This was an accident and you never intended for it to happen. God does things that no one will ever understand, and no one will ever be able to tell you why any of it happened. It is 11 years later, and I still have hard days, but dwelling over something you will never have any control over does not make it better.. Spend as much time as you can sharing your story and sharing happy memories of your friend. I am not saying this is easy because it will never be easy, but it is something that you need to do in order to move on.
Trust me, it will get better with time, but you need to do something about it. I hope that you take this advice and look for the help that you need..