By Matt B. Walen
by Matt B. Walen
The Havre Daily News
Tuesday, May 11
Todays American media loves to overhype events of all sorts by labeling them as must see or you cant live without watching this activity.
This month is a great example because the long-await, have-to-see-before-I-die movie of the summer is coming out this month. Thats right Star Wars II, also known by movie hounds as Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace, will open nationwide on May 19.
Even the guy who is the mastermind behind the event Yoda, I mean George Lucas is hoping that the release of the movie isnt overhyped. Well, George, its a little too late for that to happen.
Star Wars heads have already started camping in front of theaters in hope of being the first in line for the opening day. Sure, there is an off chance that, without staying in line for almost a month, one might die before getting to see the new movie.
Im willing to take that chance.
As we head into the next decade, century and millennium, Ive decided its time to unveil drum roll, please the highly anticipated, much awaited Matt B. Walens Top 10 Overhyped Events of the 20th Century.
10. Tinky Winky being exposed as the (only?) gay Teletubby in Teletubby Land.
9. Country music from 1980 on has tried to create an assembly-line style of mega stars who continue to crank out the classic western hits. But with sort of a rock edge.
Instead of living the lifestyle, country singers these days make the journey to the Mecca land (Nashville, Tenn.) and try to secure a recording contract. These country stars put on the boots, cowboy hat and talk country talk
8. Americas drug addiction jumps from pot to cocaine to heroine to methamphetamines. The real drugs Americans have to watch out for are in cigarettes, beer and even pop and coffee. Diet pills should also be included see item No. 6.
7. Romance novels, especially the Harlequin variety. Let me save you some time the guy always gets the girl in the end and they live happily ever after. And guess what, Ive never read any of them.
6. Any new fad diets. The only way to lose weight safely is to get off of the couch and walk some where. The next day, get off of the couch and run somewhere.
5. O.J. Simpson and his murder trial squeeze out the Lindbergh trial only because Court TV ran continuous 24-hour live coverage from inside the bowel of the courtroom. Well, maybe not 24-hour continuous coverage, but it sure felt like it.
4. The unsinkable Titanic grazed an over-sized ice cube and sank. The grandest ship ever created broke apart and rests on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean with thousands of victims.
Prior to its maiden (only) voyage, the media raved about the size and grandeur of the ship that rules the oceans. The headlines of the ships first voyage were barely dry when it started to sink.
3. Walking on the moon sounded like a great idea to many United States NASA personnel especially since the Russians had already beaten us in the space race. But once our astronauts landed and discovered that the moon wasnt made out of cheese, they could only bring back moon rocks.
2. The dreaded Y2K bug will cause global destruction as its electronic tamperings will make every computer fizzle at the tick of midnight on Jan. 1, 2000.
Sure there might be some problems such as people being without electricity for a few hours or even a couple of days. Some people may even have to eat strange ration-type food stuffs for a few meals. But this Y2K thing wont cause the devastation that cancer, AIDS, or Alzheimers disease has caused.
And the No. 1 Overhyped Event of the 20th Century is
(drumroll, please)
Coconut or sprinkled doughnuts seem to be the last taken from the office snack counter. Doughnuts are great, but then some baker with an addiction or a sick, twisted sadistic side, decided to dress up some of the bare, glazed doughnuts.
