Howdy Beaver
By Alkali Springs Correspondent
Finally, the whole story can be told. The statute of limitations has passed and you, gentle readers, will be the big winners. Because with this story you are getting the recipe for the best slathering sauce ever made for both corned beef, as in corned beef and cabbage, and as a glaze on that Easter ham.
It all started out as a day about like every other day. Mother and Vic had come over to Havre from Lakeside, and we were going to take a friend visiting from the southern part of Montana for a trip into Canada. He had never been to Canada and kept saying that while he was in Havre he really wanted to go there.
So we went. The plan was to get to the resort at Cypress Hills, just out of Maple Creek, and stay overnight there, then head to Medicine Hat to shop the next day and back to Havre.
All went well until we left the United States and the friend we were taking to see the sights decided that since he had left the United States, he should make the best of it by visiting each bar along the way that he could. Finally, we got to the Cypress Hills and we immediately lost the friend. Knowing that he was in the lounge, the rest of us looked around, ate dinner and sat in our room just talking and enjoying each other's company.
We all went to bed and from the next chamber, just as we had gotten to sleep, you could only describe it as someone wrestling with the devil and obviously losing. That was the chamber of our friend who wanted to see Canada. It went on all night long. Vic slept through it all, but Mother and we got the giggles and then hysterical laughter for some reason and there was no sleeping that night.
Next morning no one asked or answered any questions and we drove to Medicine Hat. Later, even more tired, we started on the long trek back to Havre.
As we drove back home, the phone in the car rang and a friend asked what we were doing for dinner that evening.
"Nothing," we answered.
Why don't you come out to our house because we are having corned beef and cabbage," the voice said.
That sounded just great. We knew we were too tired to cook. When we got back to Havre, we let Mother and Vic off at a motel. They were going to bed instantly. We dropped off our friend, who by that time had decided that he wanted to immigrate to Canada, he had such a good time, and we headed south for our dinner.
When we got to the friend's house, we were told that the wife of the house was running late in town and they wondered if we would cook the meal.
We quickly had several big belts and decided this was doable, so said yes, thinking that at last we would get the recipe for the special secret slathering sauce that the wife covered her corned beef with. So we cooked and cooked and cooked.
Finally, it was time for the sauce. The husband called the wife in town to get the recipe and when he got off the phone, he said that since we had been working so hard, we should sit down and rest while he made the sauce. This was not going to stand. We protested more loudly and more loudly and more loudly, and told the husband that we would drag the recipe out of him, and that without that recipe his life was not worth a plugged nickel and, even better, that as a punishment, when we did get the recipe, we were going to publish it for all to enjoy who wanted to.
Well, gentle readers, probably it was the wild sleepless look in our eyes or the screaming that could be heard two miles away, but we did get the recipe, and here it is to be shared with you just in time for St. Patrick's Day and Easter.
It is so simple, it is a shameless slathering sauce. Just take a huge dollop of French's plain old mustard and add to it another big dollop of brown sugar. Stir together until it is all one and slather onto anything that needs a great mustard sauce. And, apparently it has to be French's mustard.
