Internet: philosophy conductor
May 16, 2014
The Internet is the biggest thing to happen to mankind since the wheel — and some of us use it just to watch funny videos on Youtube.
I know, if I lived in those prehistoric times when the wheel was new, I would’ve thought it was cool just because I could run over people’s toes.
But sometimes the Internet brings knowledge and philosophical advancement whether you planned on it or not.
You think you’re just watching an odd little video about a bunny nonchalantly digging in the dirt, only to discover you just learned that momma bunnies keep their bitty babies buried in holes in the ground to keep them safe.
They dig the babies out to feed them, then rebury them, patting the new earth in tight with their furry little front feet, and then just wander away to eat more milk-replenishing food — and possibly go shopping and have a little “me” time.
And you think “How cool is that?!” Yes, you think it with both the question mark and the exclamation point, and you don’t think that’s improper because it’s pretty dang amazing to see seven baby bunnies spill out of a magically appearing hole, nurse like adorable Disney-created maniacs, then quietly and obediently file back into their hole to be buried in there until the next feeding time.
This is an actual video: “Mother Rabbit Brings Out Her Babies For A Feeding Then Tucks Them Back In” at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D9FxgMUxMc.
Of course, all the viewer comments where I originally saw it were about how amazing the creatures of nature are in their inventiveness at finding ways to raise their young and keep them safe from predators.
That’s when it occurred to me that I had watched the video for cheap entertainment but had actually gained an education.
I also had my eyes opened to a universal injustice: Not all parenthood is evaluated equally.
That momma bunny just sealed those babies into a little cave in the ground, but the title says she “tucked them back in.” What?! I say with the traditional question mark accompanied by an exclamation point to denote extreme confusion.
It's all cute when a bunny raises its young like that, but when I suggested a similar technique for raising human babies, everyone was all like “Ohmigawd!!” with two exclamation points, and wild-eyed at the thought I might actually have babies of my own.
So whatever, bun-bun, have it all. Have your free time and your motherhood and your babies stuffed into a sound proof hole, too. Apparently no one is judging you.
Not even the Internet.
(The Internet is a tool, and I mean that in a negative way at firstname.lastname@example.org.)