The road to hell is paved with good intentions, or what we call just another day here in Pamville.
What I intend to do when the Internet goes down: read a book, get ahead on writing assignments.
What I get done: watch a DVD, doodle in my notepad, eat.
What I intend to do when the power goes out: read, do outside chores, go for a long hike.
What I do: sleep, call someone in town to ask if their power is on, drive to town for an ice cream cone.
What I intend to do with my long weekend on my own at home: mow, weed-eater, exercise, clean my home office, eat tons of vegetables, deep clean the house, pick up and dispose of an old, dead pile of lumber dumped in the pasture decades before my time, go to bed early, get up early, feel refreshed. In my free time, I will learn to knit, train all my horses to be perfect and write a best-selling novel.
What I get done: sleep, buy vegetables, “cook” meals of cereal and toast, surf the Internet, snack on anything besides a vegetable, create lots of dirty dishes which require I spend the whole morning before husband returns washing, start a sitcom marathon on Netflix, go to bed late, get up early, take a midday nap for three hours, sleep at least one night with a load of laundry on the other side of the bed because I’m “too tired” to fold the clothes and put them away, yell at my horses and throw a shoe at them from the front door because they got in the yard to eat the tall grass.
I’m not really big on self analysis, well, in any way that might be constructive, as in to better oneself. However, after viewing my list, I realize I have a pattern of behavior that one might call responsibility avoidance disorder. It’s a type of oppositional defiance disorder, only it’s directed at myself rather than a second- or third-party authority.
It causes me to dumb-down, if you will, my behavior from what might be called responsible actions to a level which might be called irresponsibility, or slacking.
But don’t worry, I have a plan, a plan to better myself.
I am going to join the Peace Corps. I will make lists of all the, well, whatever peaceful things they do in faraway lands where people are short on bridges, potable water and world peace. I’m sure there’s lots to do.
Once I have those good intentions clear in my mind, I will, instead: stay home, get some stuff done here because it will be the easier road to follow.
(Everything is relative at email@example.com.)