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Make a positive resolution for the new year

The birth of a new year often brings out the part of us that looks at the opportunity for growth.

We see evidence of this all around us — the indications of our collective quest for weight loss, healthier eating, better financial stability — on every cover of every magazine, seen in the loaded parking lots of the local gym at 5 a.m., and in every paid advertisement that those of us restless few view at 3 o’clock in the morning. Bettering yourself is always a good goal to be sure, but this year I suggest looking at the other things we can do in our lives that will improve our health and wellness. This year, resolve to love more, to yell less, to be more patient, to be more gracious, and to see the good in things, even when the proverbial glass is definitely half empty. These tasks may seem much easier said than done, but then so are most worthwhile endeavors.

Love more. “How in the heck do you do that?” you may ask. The ability to love others starts with the ability to love and accept yourself. Acceptance comes from humility and forgiveness of both others and yourself. Scott “Q” Marcus wrote, “I can do nothing about my own yesterdays, save use them as counsel for tomorrow. Today, I thank the Universe for my small gifts, many of which I would not have seen if I had not had to first look within and face the battle.” If you’re not able to love yourself quite yet, fake it until you make it; act lovingly toward yourself with care and gentility. Do things to nurture yourself, whether that’s giving love to your favorite furry, four-legged friend, meditating or volunteering at your local shelter, do things that make you proud of the person you are. Make small steps toward liking yourself more first. Smaller steps will get you the distance just as well as bigger ones. When you add all of that up, you may find yourself loving more and that it feels pretty good.

Yell less. Try to remember that when we’re upset or hurt by others, that they are just like you. They have feelings, defenses, wounds and heartaches, too, and may not like themselves very much either. We are all on our own journeys and we sometimes meet roadblocks. Their offense might have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. By showing compassion, we show a greater respect for both ourselves as well as others, and it generally makes our throats hurt less.

Be more patient. See the last paragraph.

Be more gracious. Some days we don’t feel like we have anything to be grateful for and those are usually the days we need to find something to be grateful for. Sometimes it’s a matter of perspective — glass half empty or half full. When we start looking for the good in our lives, we often find it. Start a gratitude journal and write in it daily, even if the only thing you have to be grateful for is getting the last cup of coffee at work or hitting all green lights on the way home. Say thank you to people for doing little things. Tell your co-worker how much you appreciate them filling the coffee pot when they take the last cup of coffee, or telling your husband thank you for closing the toilet lid. It may sound silly, but when we recognize others for doing things we appreciate, even if they are small, we begin to see the things we have to be thankful for.

See the good in things. When you make the effort to love yourself more, yell less, be more patient and be more gracious, you will start to see the good in things. When you find yourself in a difficult place, try finding the one thing you can take away from it. When you identify someone or something with a negative trait, try identifying one good thing that you can appreciate. You may find that your opinion of things might begin to change.

From all of us at the Center for Mental Health, happy new year!

 

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