A tiling mess even without tile

Anybody who knows me well knows I already have a pretty solid repertoire of swear words and the last thing I need, suffering under the stress of this week, is another four-letter word to sprinkle into my conversations like red chilis on pizza. 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to brag. I simply took to cussing as a natural. It was obvious that, even as a first-grader, my grasp of grammatically proper usage of cuss words in a variety of situations was advanced well beyond my peers’. We can all thank my dad for that. I’m sure my mother did. Imagine my surprise and deep hurt to dis...