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By Pam Burke 

View from the North 40: O, Canada, you do have a mean bone

 

December 1, 2017



Sure I joke about Canada, give them a little friendly ribbing about how polite they are, but I realize it’s in their constitution that they have to be kind to everyone, so imagine my surprise this week to see Canadians being so hateful to Americans.

And by hateful I mean that someone compiled, printed up and is now selling a little calendar called “Justin Trudeau, My Canadian Boyfriend.”

And by calendar I mean a collection of 12 GQ-like photos showcasing the Canadian prime minister’s universal appeal as a handsome, trim-bodied, outdoorsy first-world-country leader who likes to cuddle with puppies, fight fires and have fun. Oh, and each photo corresponds vaguely with a month on the calendar, you know, so they would have at least a feeble excuse for showing off their attractive, well-spoken leader.

One month shows a young Trudeau with unfortunately long hair that is also losing a battle with humidity while he expertly executes senior photo pose No. 2 — gazing vaguely into the middle distance trying to look both dreamy and worldly, but not bored — even still, he looks like a physically superior specimen of a leader.

For the record, I think it is crass to be focusing any discussion of our political leaders on physical appearance, and I apologize to readers that Canada is making me do this.

I think Canada is just showing off that they have a pretty leader while the U.S. has Trump.

I don’t care what you’re political leanings are, but you have got to be a bit peeved that they are so blatantly showing off that they have a political McDreamy and we have a fish-lipped Homer Simpson.

What a cheap shot.

Seriously, aside from one photo from his military academy youth, President Donald Trump has two looks: happy-doofus goldfish in the water, angry-eyed goldfish gasping for air out of water. How are we supposed to compete? And for the love of all that’s wholesome and good and keeps my food down, do not say wet T-shirt contest. Some things you couldn’t unsee.

How about Mexico’s President Enrique Peña Nieto? Attractive. Sharply handsome I’d say. As far as I know he’s not a calendar-boy, or otherwise purchasable in pinup form, but it’s not for lack of looks.

So thanks, Canada. Thanks for breaking my pride, pointing out that we are the cold liverwurst sandwich spread between fresh-from-the-oven, homemade bread slices. I strangely love you more after seeing your evil side.

——

Don’t even get me started on Queen Elizabeth II. Sure her wardrobe choices make it unclear if she still has real elbows and knees, but she was a looker when she was young, she has aged well, and despite being roughly 148 years old, she still rides horses at http://www.facebook.com/viewfromthenorth40.

 

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