Havre Daily News - News you can use

Articles written by Joe Barnhart

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 By Joe Barnhart    Opinion

Secret Service agents get lonely too

People need pets; except tropical fish, which are a form of fungus. Your typical dog or yak provides unconditional love, devotion, and a furry surface to caress — much like your Fed Ex driver. They may even cough up a hair ball j...

 
 By Joe Barnhart    Opinion

Trying to shortchange the IRS

During every tax season it becomes painfully obvious there are two types of American taxpayers: those who know the federal government wastes millions of dollars and those who are, for lack of a better word, dead. Yet, the living ac...

 
 By Joe Barnhart    Opinion

Polls are hogwash, but boy, are they fun

I ask you, "What makes a presidential election year more fun than eating roasted crickets?" Well, sure, there's watching millions being blown. Money better spent, say, reducing the federal budget deficit — but I'm just being... Full story

 
 By Joe Barnhart    Opinion

On the cutting edge of dieting technology

NEWS FLASH: Japanese researchers discover "diet-glasses!" Island nation sinks under piles of uneaten "raw squid, wrapped in beef entrails" sushi. Researchers, who graduated at the bottom of their class, are experimenting with food... Full story

 
 By Joe Barnhart    Opinion

The federal government is frugal. No, seriously. If Uncle Sam bummed a hundred bucks from you on a street corner, he'd fund some revealing study like why ants look so small. Daily, your taxes support logic-constipating national... Full story

 
 By Joe Barnhart    Opinion

Montana Guv, hick or hype?

HELENA — With his "Burning Corn Cob Juggling Act" on the skids, Democratic Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer, brazenly rejected 17 Republican bills using a red hot branding iron. Frenetic steers in the crowd collapsed at the sight of... Full story

 

Fast food diets — I'm ready

In the words of, I believe, the immortal Paris Hilton, "I'm cheap and I'm easy." If all it takes to reach instant fame (as in one of those cardboard cutouts where the star strikes a pose resembling someone who's had a frontal lobot... Full story

 

Forgiveness — who needs it!

Come on, Sandra! Don't even think about forgiving that two-timing Jesse James creep. And REALLY! What a pathetic apology. Scrape the jerk off and get on with life. We're turning into jellyfish do-gooders — obsessed with...

 
 By Joe Barnhart    Opinion

Beware of cockroach sending e-mails

Besides sharpening pencils, part of my job is fielding e-mail trouble calls. Stuff like, "Hey, Joe. I got an e-mail from someone I don't know. I opened the attachment but now my computer is on fire. What should I do?" or, "I have...

 

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