Life could be perfect if I could live it like the director's cut

I get annoyed with people who wish life could come with an instruction manual because they want their life to be easier. Don't be such a noodle, I say.

If you're going to wish for it to be easier, ask for a good script, proper lighting and awesome background music. Maybe a hair and makeup artist. And a custom-made wardrobe.

Pam Burke

Life would be so much easier if I didn't have to figure out what to say and do and wear.

My husband John and I went to two parties over the Labor Day weekend. Count 'em — two. Two social gatherings. Two soirées. Two opportunities to lodge my foot in my mouth...