Practical Pastoring Roles of Men and Women Part Two

When we are rebellious and stubborn, we are sinning. It appears that there are people attending church whose minds are made up and locked about certain issues. They do not want to be confused with the facts presented in the Bible. You can be sincere in your feelings regarding an issue and be sincerely wrong when your feelings are compared with the Bible.

Our discussion in the next article will look specifically at the roles of men and women in the church. Society’s values are not necessarily Biblical values. What are the distinct roles that men and women have in God’s plan? Is it possible that these roles vary depending on the culture of the area? The church is to rise above societal and cultural expectations and operate based on the function of the Holy Spirit. A Biblical church may not be extremely popular with everyone in this world.

The enemy loves to distract churches from being the church and expanding the kingdom. One way to do this is by confusing God’s people with worldly standards and values.

Ephesians is quite clear that we are to be filled with the Spirit and submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Many churchgoers have forgotten that obedience is better than sacrifice. The motto of some people seems to be, “What can you do for me today?” The principle of service is all but forgotten by those who reach for power and desire the best of everything for themselves. If we submit to God first and then to one another, we will be able to walk according to the Spirit and thus bring glory to God.

Some people in the church confuse the role of husband with the role of man as well as the role of wife with the role of woman. Wives are to submit to their husbands, not someone else’s husband. The structure that God has chosen is for the husband to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. The little children’s song says, “If you want to be great in the kingdom, learn to be the servant of all.”

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. This section of the Bible has much potential for abuse. The husband who does not love his wife as Christ loved the church may take this portion of the Bible and use it to attempt to beat his wife into submission.

Christ did not beat the church into submission. He gave His life for us. A husband should be one who dies daily to his selfish wants and lives for what God wants in his life. This husband should love his wife as he loves his own body; recognizing that as he loves his wife, he is loving himself.

A wife needs to support her husband. One of the most vital characteristics of that support is respect. Biblically speaking, the husband is to love his wife and the wife is to respect her husband. There are many actions and attitudes regarding a husband loving his wife and a wife respecting her husband, but collectively it is a Biblical bottom line.

I observe problems in the church when the roles of husband and wife are not aligned with the Bible within the couple’s home. The spiritual head of the house should be the husband. Unfortunately, many husbands abdicate their spiritual role as head of the household, and the job falls on the wife’s shoulders. This scenario is not fair to the wife or the children.

Another issue that the Holy Spirit is concerned about is the instruction for the man to leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. I sympathize with the woman whose husband does not have a Biblical relationship with his parents. If the man and woman are to become one flesh, they need to put into practice what the Bible has to say about their relationship.

In our society, many people cringe when told to submit, obey, or respect. It appears that most people want to be the boss, give the orders, and look out for themselves first and foremost. Jesus left His position and humbled Himself to come to this earth and offer His life as a ransom for our lives. He gave us the example of One who submitted to His Father’s will even when He did not want to submit. He respected His mother by performing His first miracle at a wedding when the host ran out of wine. It was not His time, but He honored His mother’s request. Jesus learned obedience through what He suffered.

Will we continue to be stubborn and refuse to let the Spirit of God set us free? Or will we surrender to God and experience His best for us? The choice is ours.

Kevin Barsotti

Ark Church

——

This article is part of Practical Pastoring: Mentoring Growth Letters from a Senior Pastor to a New Pastor, Book Four. The author responds to his pastor’s letters to him from twenty years ago when he began his pastoral journey.