View from the North 40: This fridge-thing will be the death of me

The headline will read “Woman dies shopping for refrigerator.”

Readers will be expecting to find that I was crushed by a 22 cubic foot appliance, flattened like Wile E. Coyote, but no, shopping is the silent killer.

It’ll be a heart attack that gets me, maybe a stroke or an aneurysm just to shake things up a bit. My last words will be “I hate shopping,” then goodnight, Irene, I’ll drop to the floor in a resounding thud of defeat.

It shouldn’t be this hard.

I know what I don’t want. I don’t want my current refrigerator, for starters, which has the freezer right there at...