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The Scriptures on Finances - Dealing with money can strengthen a marriage

This week, we will again look at some of the information presented by Howard Dayton in his book “Money and Marriage God’s Way.”

1 Peter 3:8-9 “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.”

The above verse gives us good instruction if we desire to have a successful financial relationship in marriage. I am not a musician but I do enjoy music. If both spouses want to sing lead in the household financial matters then there will not be harmony. Harmony accompanies the lead and can make the song richer and fuller. I imagine a child playing Chopsticks on the piano while a professional musician sits beside the child and adds spectacular musical flourishes to the tune thus providing a richer experience for the audience.

Someone has to take the lead in both music and finances. In previous articles I have shared that if a man does not provide for his family then he is worth less than an unbeliever. Hopefully the husband and wife will work together to have a healthy financial and spiritual balance in their marriage.

When we consider our spouse as better than ourselves, demonstrate kindness, speak and act humbly, curb our tongue, and work to bless our spouse then we are positioning ourselves to be blessed. One of the ways we can bless our spouse is in the area of how we spend money.

Some Christians have spent money primarily on themselves without regard as to how their spending affects their spouse and their marriage. I believe that each spouse should have some type of allowance but the couple should work together and consult with each other on a regular basis in order to determine budget or spending priorities.

At first, these finance discussions may be strained or even hostile as the Holy Spirit works in both people to knock some rough edges off their thinking and attempt to bring the couple to agreement on financial matters. Please do not quit talking about money once you have begun the process. It may not ever be extremely easy for a couple to talk about money but I believe that it will get better as you trust God to help you work through your financial challenges and plans for the future.

Over time, trust will develop in your marriage as you begin to see that your spouse is not acting selfishly with money and the two of you come into agreement as to how to steward the resources that God has given you to manage.

If your marriage started off on shaky financial ground perhaps you should go back and make sure that your financial foundation is in Jesus. More than one person has married and then had their spouse reveal college debt, credit card bills, or other financial issues previously undisclosed. If you have not yet resolved the issue of financial transparency with your spouse today would be a great day to clear up the issue. You can forgive and you can ask for forgiveness but you cannot make your spouse do the next right thing. You will have to trust God to change your spouse’s heart if he or she is not willing to walk financial decisions in the light with you.

It may take awhile for you and your spouse to learn how to be a blessing to each other in the way you spend money but it will improve the quality of your marriage and your financial life together as you embrace Biblical principles in your marriage. These principles will serve you well from the beginning of your marriage until death. You may have to make many financial adjustments throughout your marriage but the Holy Spirit will guide you each step of the way.

May God bless you big.

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This is the eighth column in a series by Kevin Barsotti, pastor at Ark Church in Havre, about financial matters and their treatment in the Christian faith.

 

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