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Looking out my Backdoor: Involuntary system purge


Day three with an unwanted, invasive, intimate companion — the flu. So weak, I feel like a newborn kitten without a mama.

While alternative health methods have a long and checkered history of purposefully and purposely cleaning out one’s digestive tract as a measure for optimum good health, if you ask me, such drastic measures are total nonsense.

The first 36 hours I spent every 20 to 40 minutes, literally, on the commode, plastic lined garbage can on my lap, involuntarily purging my entire upper and lower innards.

Imagine somebody doing this on purpose. I ask you, how can this be healthy?

The following 24 hours I managed to sip lime-water with no ill effects. No food. No risks.

I alternated sitting in the sunshine on my patio with brief restorative naps while waiting for sundown so I could crawl into bed for the night without guilt.

Four neighbors offered to make me chicken soup, the thought of which turned me green, though I greatly appreciated their offers.

Two other neighbors offered to go to town to get me anything my heart desired. I can say with complete honesty, I wanted absolutely nothing. Wonder if they’d make the same offer next week? I could make a list.

Today, I got up and made my bed, all the while innocently pretending I don’t know that I fully intend to crawl right back under the covers.

My best medicine is sunshine on my patio, surrounded with lavender in full bloom and a thousand, thousand bees.

Please stay away. I don’t want to share.

Please, no chicken soup.


Sondra Ashton grew up in Harlem but spent most of her adult life out of state. She returned to see the Hi-Line with a perspective of delight. After several years back in Harlem, Ashton is seeking new experiences in Etzatlan, Mexico. Once a Montanan, always. Read Ashton’s essays and other work at http://montanatumbleweed.blogspot.com/. Email [email protected]


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