Looking out my backdoor: Dear Leanore,

I love it when Leo comes from the post office with a real letter in hand. Here it is mid-February and I just received your Christmas card. Denise’s arrived last week. I’ll not see Karen’s for a while because she mailed it mid-December!

Our post office was closed for weeks; both postal workers were down with the COVID virus. Simultaneously, the lockdown closed government offices. In ordinary times, mail in Mexico is slow.

We never get over worrying about our children, do we? I’m pleased to hear that Paul is managing so well and I know Cathi is a joy. Did Mark and Angie get to visit over Christmas?

My son gets stronger and healthier every day, even with the “dark” days. The pain of losing your loved one with no warning is unimaginable. My Dee Dee was rear-ended at a stop light by an erratically driven mail truck on Friday. See, mail is unreliable everywhere.

She says she has less pain every day. But when I first asked, she used that lying “F” word, “Fine.” I’ve been around that block so I said, “Sure, so now tell me how you really feel.”

I raised my children to question things and to be independent. I often think I overdid that aspect of my job. But I wouldn’t have done it any other way.

I hope you and Roy both have your vaccinations by now. Just last night the first shipment of vaccine arrived in Etzatlan for the elders. I am signed up but my name did not make the first drawing so I’ve no idea when will be our next opportunity.

Just this morning my friend Karen in England said she and Mick got their first jabs. But we commiserated that we will possibly never go unmasked in public.

I’m reminded of when I went to China, must be nearly 20 years ago, and most people wore masks for ordinary health reasons. We also stepped into numerous vats of disinfectant before entering public gardens, temples, a tea plantation, and other places where there was a lot of foot-traffic.

I miss grocery shopping for myself. I miss eating in restaurants. I’m tired of eating only my own creative cookery. I miss handshakes and hugs.

Most of all, I miss being able to share little things of no importance. I’d love to show you the egg shell I found on the patio when I opened my door this morning. Or the lizard who lives in my bamboo outside my window, happily scarfing down bugs on the screen. Or take you on my garden tour this morning to smell the flowers on the lime trees.

I’m especially delighted with my key lime. That tree was one of the first ones I planted. It nearly got the ax at least three or four times each year and I stubbornly nursed it back to health along with a giving it severe warning out loud of its impending fate. For the first time the little tree is covered with white blossoms.

I do thrive in Mexico. In many ways “here” seems a lot like Montana. I’ve lived in a lot of places and found something to love in each of them.

Chicago was a struggle. But some areas resonate with one’s core. Some places are “home” in indefinable ways.

Goodness! I just got the good news. I have my appointment for vaccination scheduled for Thursday morning. I’m excited. In Spanish, Estoy emocianada!

Maybe I can begin to plan a trip north for later in the year after all. I’ll start my list of things I want like Bag Balm. In town I bought the equivalent but it smells like pine tar, which is OK, but …

I hope to see you before summer ends,

Much love,

Sondra

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Sondra Ashton grew up in Harlem but spent most of her adult life out of state. She returned to see the Hi-Line with a perspective of delight. After several years back in Harlem, Ashton is seeking new experiences in Etzatlan, Mexico. Once a Montanan, always. Read Ashton’s essays and other work at http://montanatumbleweed.blogspot.com/. Email [email protected].