Pastor's Corner: Entitlement

Society has done a good job of convincing us that we deserve many things. Daily we are inundated by the media that tries to make us believe that we are missing out if we don't get whatever it is we desire. Whether a new car, the latest cellphone, or mega-wardrobe, we have come to believe that we are actually entitled to these things.

Entitlement, used in this sense, is someone's belief that one deserves some particular reward or benefit. We feel that we have "earned" the right to have whatever we want because we work hard. This sense of entitlement is becoming an alarming trend that has immediate and long-term consequences. Entitlement breeds discontent, covetousness and, unfortunately, a desire for more. Suddenly, we don't see those around us. All we see is the sale on our favorite internet site.

The more we get, the more we want. The fallacy of entitlement must be exposed for what it is, however - a tactic of the enemy to get us to worship the false god of materialism. If he can't get us to do that, he'll make us discontent in other ways by tempting us to believe we have other "rights" that we are being denied. This sense of entitlement is being passed on to our children as well. It seems the more we give our kids, the more they expect and the less they respect those belongings and those in authority. The way that we give to our children can either nurture a sense of appreciation and ownership by earning things, or help them develop a sense of false entitlement because they are getting what they want when they want it.

Giving is good, but when we lavish our children with unearned luxuries, they will ultimately become ill-prepared to handle the future realities of the real world. I know of one teenager who told a prospective employer what days he was willing to work. No surprise, he wasn't hired.

The older our children/grandchildren become, the more pressure they are under to have what their peers have and to do what they do. Unfortunately, kids caught in the web of entitlement may grow up to be self-absorbed adults that are unable to handle tough situations in the workplace, in social conflict, or in marriage. Thankfully, there are some practical ways we can buck the entitlement trend:

Teach your children/grandchildren the value of hard work and money. Just because you give your teenager the latest cellphone doesn't mean you should. While we love to give our children gifts, excessive generosity can quickly contribute to their sense of entitlement. Put limitations on giving. Even if "all the other kids have one," don't feel as though you need to give them everything they asked for. Provide your children with plenty of opportunities to work, earn money, and save for what they want. Teens can even get a part-time job. Kids have more appreciation for what they have when they've purchased it with their own hard-earned money. Delayed gratification and knowing the value of money are invaluable.

Value the struggles you face and learn from them. Instead of rushing to the internet to buy something on credit when life is pressing in on you, embrace the struggle. As the old English proverb says, "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." It is the storms of life that prepare us to deal with setbacks and struggles. Anyone who learns to handle the difficulties of life doesn't tend to think that life "owes" them anything. Instead, they come to view hardship as an opportunity to persevere and become skilled at coping with the difficulties of life.

Foster compassion. Lack of compassion is most evident in those who feel entitled. When life is all about me, me, me, there is little room for the pain and problem of others. As Christians, we need to be compassionate and caring. When we have a false sense of entitlement, we may not see the world realistically. By releasing unrealistic expectations and the claim of entitlement, we can better teach our children/grandchildren to do the same, and will then be able to genuinely appreciate God's blessings.

--

Pastor Michael O'Hearn

Hi-Line Lutheran Churches