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Choosing adoption - a local couple's journey

After years of waiting, extensive background checks and having to travel thousands of miles, one local family was brought together - through international adoption.

Mike Zook, a Right-of-Way agent at Triangle Communications and former Hill County Farm Service Agency executive director, and his wife, Darcy, chose to adopt two girls from China.

"My wife and I experienced infertility problems," he said. "Giving up that thought of a birth child was a very difficult decision."

Zook also said he and his wife struggled for quite a while trying to figure out what would be the best next step due to there being many options such as private placements, state agencies, domestic adoptions, and international adoptions.

Zook said that he and his wife considered adopting within the state of Montana, however he said the state essentially made it a requirement to become foster parents before having the chance to fully adopt.

"Emotionally we were not at a place where we felt we could be foster parents," he said. "Kids having a marginal home life and that are placed in your care and then moving back into potentially still a marginal home environment - we just weren't sure if we could do that."

The Zooks said that they ended up choosing the international adoption route and that they received a lot of criticism from this decision.

"They said, what about all the kids that are available for adoption in the United States?" he said.

The Zooks worked with Catholic Social Services in Montana and Christian World Adoption. They decided to adopt through China.

"China had full orphanages. We knew the attrition with female children in China," he said. "In Chinese culture, 7,000 years of history says the oldest son is going to take care of the parents - this is not a guideline, this is a principal," he said.

The Zooks were required to fly to China to finalize each adoption. They adopted Meggie, 16, in 1998 when she was 27 months old and Molly, 9, in 2006 when she was 10 months old.

Meggie's middle name is Xiajing, which means summer crystal and Molly's middle name is Yuanyu, which means eternal jade.

"We kept their Chinese names as their middle names," he added.

Processing these adoptions each took a long time due to many requirements such as extensive background checks. It took two years for the Zooks to finalize Meggie's adoption and three years to finalize Molly's adoption.

"Our paperwork had 24 hours left on it with Molly before it would have become stale, dated, and we would have had to start the process over," Zook added.

Zook said that his family is like any other family and that they enjoy spending time together, such as going on camping trips.

Zook recommends that those seeking to adopt a child take it one step at a time and to be flexible.

"There are going to be barriers that are thrown your way. You need to be able to figure out a way over it, around it, under it, or through it - but there is always a way to get there," he said.

Zook believes adoption is healthy for society.

"I think there's nothing more wonderful than getting a child and putting them into a safe, loving home environment to make this a better world," he added.

Allison Sever, executive assistant with Catholic Social Service of Montana said numerous resources are available for anyone seeking to learn more about adoption.

She said there are a large variety of adoption situations that her facility deals with.

"Adoption is not an easy course or path to take."

Sever also said that Catholic Social Services provides a variety of services in addition to guiding individuals through the adoption process. This includes adoptive counseling and birth parent counseling.

"(Adoption) gives people who feel helpless or hopeless options to be able to move on," she added.

 

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