View from the North 40: Creative reporting takes the sting off

I tried to read the news this week but, honestly, outside of work where we are treated like a prison work gang, without the snappy uniforms, and forced to read news, I was too tired and rundown (and more than a little, as the British say, couldn’t be arsed) to read much past the headlines.

So without further ado, I give you all the news I could make up about my favorite weird headline of August: “Turkish scorpion farmer milks arachnids for their expensive venom,” by Umit Ozdal writing for Reuters Aug. 16.

A farm somewhere in the country of Turkey, which is about the size of Montana, Wyoming an...